Let’s face it—no one loves job searching. When I started coaching groups for women jobseekers over three years ago, it was to test the hypothesis that it is possible to make the process more enjoyable, in part by sharing the experience with like-minded women. Here are a few suggestions to make the job search a part of your life you look forward to rather than dread:
Start by asking yourself the question “How can I make this more fun?” As a coach once said to me, “How can we reframe this, and wrap it up with a bow in the prettiest package you can imagine?” Everyone has a different answer. Mine involves making sure I talk to enthusiastic, warm people at convenient times and having one or two friends around me for regular support. It would also involve spending time in my favorite coffee shops with a laptop. Ask yourself this question and see what comes to mind.
Find a Job Search Buddy—I’m still searching for a feminine word for this but, in the meantime, “buddy” works to describe what can be one of the most positive aspects of job seeking. This is a time to get closer to people who are in the same boat.
My friend Lindsay and I met weekly in Washington Square Park while I was in between positions and temping at NYU. I’ll always appreciate the cupcake she brought me on my birthday, brightening my day during a challenging period. This chapter of your life can be an opportunity to forge long-lasting, meaningful relationships that continue way beyond the job search period. Look around you and see who might be open and excited to meet weekly for coffee or by phone to talk through your mutual searches.
Bring Out Your Inner Organizing Nerd—There’s nothing like a good project to sink your teeth into and get organized around. That’s what a job search is. One of my favorite tools is a Google Doc Excel File for organizing networking contacts. Use this to track high, medium and low priority contacts, referral sources, notes, the date you made contact, and future leads. This makes the job search more like a treasure hunt from one networking call to the next. Receive a new suggestion of someone to talk to? Plop it down in your Excel file so you don’t forget. What about a sparkly notebook for writing down notes from calls and ideas for follow-up? Decluttering is also great for inspiring fresh energy. Throw out old resumes. Organize your electronic and paper files. Use a label maker and color file folders. Let the nerdy organized side of you take over and enjoy this part of the process.
Savor Networking—Once you get past the initial fear and resistance of reaching out to professional contacts for career advice and information, aka networking, I think you’ll find these conversations enjoyable. People really do love sharing their career journeys and lessons learned. When we’re happily situated in a job, it’s easy to become complacent about meeting new people. Job searching is an opportunity to take a genuine interest in new contacts (kind of like dating) and learn how they got where they are today. You also have the chance to reconnect with people you like and admire but who you may not have reached out to. Once you get momentum going, these calls can be an enjoyable part of your week.
Determine What Would Make the Present More Enjoyable—It’s easy to think you’ll be happy once that right opportunity comes along. The reality is, this is your life, right here and now. The new job is on the way, but until then, how can you make your life 10, 20 or 30% more enjoyable now? If you have a job that you hate, can you make sure you take a lunch break and do something fun on it? Are you devoting time to self-care including exercise, eating healthy, meditation, yoga or whatever it takes to keep your mind and body in good spirits? Are you doing projects or activities that feed your soul whether they are work related or not? Do you need to speak up at your current place of employment to make life there more enjoyable?
Allow for Cleansing Tears—There’s nothing like a good cry for releasing pent-up feelings with the ideal result being that you accept your situation and take action. Your present situation may not be what you want, but it’s what you’ve got to work with. I’ve found that tears help, especially when shed with a trusted friend, family member, coach, or therapist.
If you’re crying every day and feel unmotivated to move forward, it may be a sign you need professional-level support. A few tears now and then, however, to acknowledge yourself with compassion can be a healthy way to accept your life as it is and move forward.
Remind Yourself Daily of Your Value—Ultimately, it’s important to know that you are valuable just for being you, regardless of the job you have. Take a daily walk to feel your aliveness in your physical being and let go of any thoughts. Your value is your mere presence, nothing more is needed.
Test the hypothesis: Can the job search be fun? What steps can you take today to adjust the way you’re approaching your search?
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