Most jobseekers I’ve worked with have at their fingertips a rich resource of contacts they could be making much better use of. Part of this, I’ve found, relates to fears around asking for help. These fears include such thoughts as, “Everyone is so busy,” or “Why would I burden someone with my situation.” Sometimes it’s, “I don’t like to ask for help,” or “What could I possibly give back in return.”

This way of thinking is always interesting to me because my default around networking is generally these types of thoughts:

• For the most part, people are friendly and like to help others.
• I’m an interesting person that people value speaking to and connecting with.
• Sharing ideas, advice and experiences is fun and enjoyable.
• It’s easy for me to find ways to give back to others whether by introducing them to someone I know or forwarding on an article I read that reminds me of them.
• Sometimes just allowing others to help me is enough because it makes them feel good to do so.

I’ve mainly come to these conclusions because this is how I feel about helping others.

Now, I will admit, these beliefs are not always true. Some people really do not have the time or inclination to be helpful. But they are usually the exception. It’s more important to not take that personally and move on to the next person on your list who is more available for you.

Tune into your internal dialogue around asking your network of mentors, previous bosses, friends and acquaintances for help around your job search or any other dilemma in your life. What is it saying to you? Is your default mode that people are friendly and open, or is that they’re busy and what you need is a burden to them? If the latter, perhaps it’s time to take a fresh look at these thoughts and turn them around to work for you.